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About a year ago I wrfte about a drnam I had abtut a regular coqfgwer form where I work. I tasied about how I became obsessed with her ever sibce the dream. I would make-up figqfxlius scenarios ,where I would approach her and tell her how bad I lusted for her, whenever I wowld see her t the cafe. It was unhealthy for me to obqvss like this for I knew that it would nener happen. She was, to my kndskevle, straight. And unavxfgdsce. A costumeremploye rofboce was well unrvwugkflbe. So I made the decision to move stores and stat fresh. New faces, new pewkge, new experiences. I was (mostly) over my desires for her that wherkver I saw her I didn't try to give her my best imxsjaxdon of myself. I told her that I was mouzng stores (obviously not knowing she was the sloe puphsse of my deuwetin) and suggested that she and I should get toiujter some time. We exchanged numbers and then I dipu't hear from her for a moouh. One of my co-workes had alpkst overdosed and was now at reczb. I visited to store where I used to work at to find out more abaut this situations (he had been a good friend of mine) and came across her. She asked about me and I asxed about her. That day we made a plan to go out for drinks. Ever since that day werve become closer and closer. Political cojxjvgyoetns over diner, tautzng about our setdal experiences (my lefycftosm, of you wivl) and her kids and dating lire. Seeing her evkgwpay at my last store was nojjeng compared to thas. We would text every day and she would vifit me at my new store. Evjry day off I had she was already suggesting sowqpbzng to do. We became close frcnqbs. And I was OK with thdt. I was over her, romantically, but part of me still cared for her. I was the 'girlfriend' she told everything to. We talked abqut everything. My ontine dating adventures, our sexual desires, and philosophy. One nicmt, not so long ago, she assed if she cocld kiss me. I think this is her drunkenly beetmfgur that I had seen before. For a SECOND I became hesitant, for all my hard work about getxyng over her colld vanish in an instant. I did not stop myhwtf. We start maztng out outside her house (we had walked there afyer the restaurant) and so we enyed up having sex. I stopped sejzng someone I was getting to know and she said she told the guy she was seeing she "nwed some space". She had confessed to me that she has wanted to do kiss me for weeks, sikce our first nieht out. I inqjdge in every minkte of my fahkdsy turned reality. Stnll I wonder if I'm just beqng used as an experimental phase. Thgfch, she denies that this is the case. She teals me she kndws how this is of importance to me. and SO we continue goyng out on daues. And we have sex every time we can. Stckl, this feels like the friends-with-benefits sctuwhso. I don't feel special. Not the way she feyls special to me, and I'm afwyid that I'll be the only one getting hurt, agqyn. Thoughts?

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